Well, we’ve finished recording all five tracks for our EP, and I thought it was time for a bit of a recording retrospective. I feel incredibly proud but also kind of hollow, like I’ve put all of myself somewhere else and now have to figure out how to regenerate a new self. Like a lizard. Only, less tail and more soul. I spent years working up to this, and I really feel like I’ve put everything into these five songs. I’m also really going to… Read More »Testimonial
Lately I’ve been crying a lot. Feeling feelings really hard. Often when I’m mired in my own emotions I will write a song, but I haven’t been able to complete a single new song the whole time we’ve been recording for the EP. So instead, I’m going to write a blog post about it. Let’s start with what I’m talking about when I say that I’m “feeling feelings really hard.” I’ve also been known to refer to it as feeling especially fragile. I cry because… Read More »Feeling Feelings
How do you remember, is it all in one goMemories on display like paintings, all in a rowI don’t know -me, “Can’t” Normal I spend a lot of time comparing my capabilities with those of other people. It typically ends with me wondering why I don’t seem to live up to the standards of “normal” I see around me. It’s discouraging, even though I know perfectly well that there is a wide range of possible proficiencies at every task, and in most cases, I’m not… Read More »Memory (no, not that Memory)
The Gift That Keeps on Giving Doesn’t Know When to Quit Recently we both registered with SOCAN1 in preparation for the release2 of the EP. It’s brought up a whole lot of feelings: excitement, anticipation, impatience, and pride, but also anxiety, insecurity, guilt, dread, and doubt. I thought I’d take some time to revisit the idea of imposter syndrome and unpack where some of these feelings are coming from, what they mean, and how I can keep them from stopping me.3 I think the first group of emotions is… Read More »Imposter Syndrome:
I do not like to cancel plans; I find it extremely stressful. On the other hand, once something is cancelled, especially when someone else has to cancel our plans, it can feel like a relief. My default state is Not Doing Anything, and hauling myself out of that is almost always difficult, regardless of how much I actually do want to Do Something. As a result, finding out I actually get to keep Not Doing Anything when I thought I was going to have to… Read More »Cancelled
This is a blog post written in part nearly a year ago and in part just before posting. I went to edit it into something more appropriate to the present day, and I thought, no, I should leave what I wrote back then intact because it conveys a different flavour of hopelessness than what I feel now. I hope you enjoy, then, the tasting platter of despairing emotions set before you. April 2022 (Where I Was a Year Ago) First off, I’d like to acknowledge… Read More »On the Pandemic
A couple of months ago I bought myself a visual timer. Visual timers are basically what they sound like. Once set, they give a visual cue as to how much time is left before they go off. And it is so much easier to get an idea of how time is passing when you’re using one. I love my visual timer. It’s pink, which, well, obviously that’s a good thing. And the timer part is red so it has kind of a Valentine-y feel that I rather… Read More »Visual Timer
Those of you who know me – and let’s face it, I think that’s everyone reading this at this point – may be wondering, “Where are the EP updates? I thought you were making an EP. Aren’t you working on that right now? How is it going?” and similar. The answer is, I suppose, that it is going amazingly, fantastically well, it’s better than I’d even dreamed, I’m so excited about this project, and… I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m not overly… Read More »EP Update: Things Are Great, Let’s Move On?
I wasn’t sure quite how I was going to put this, but I knew it was something I was going to have to say sooner or later. After much internal debate and struggle, I’ve settled on this phrasing: I don’t do well with ambiguous sensory input. Let me explain. I don’t like being in a dimly lit room (actually dark is okay, I don’t sleep with all the lights on). I don’t like very soft music (especially at a restaurant, where the noise of people… Read More »Obscured
I try not to regret. Oh, sure, little things like saying the wrong thing when I was trying to engage in small talk. I’ll regret those. I really regret those. But I try not to regret the big things. It’s possible I’ve been overly influenced by the Hallmark-type movies where the protagonist wishes in passing that they’d never… and then finds out what life would be like if they’d never… I definitely try to avoid making wishes like that. But more likely, I was influenced by Granny… Read More »Regret