2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. We’ve been sick for much of this month so far. And it’s the worst kind of sick, the kind that affects your voice. As of this writing, I haven’t been able to sing for more than a week. I rely heavily on singing to get me through my life. I sing in the shower, which is just about the only way… Read More »Vocal Rest
2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. In my experience,1 therapists hate “should” statements. I’ve been pondering the concept of shame lately, and how it is not very helpful. For the sake of a common definition, let shame be a negative emotion (or collection of emotions) that hits you when you realize you are doing or thinking or being something that you shouldn’t. It can be triggered from the outside, by cruel… Read More »Shoulds and Shame
Well, we’ve finished recording all five tracks for our EP, and I thought it was time for a bit of a recording retrospective. I feel incredibly proud but also kind of hollow, like I’ve put all of myself somewhere else and now have to figure out how to regenerate a new self. Like a lizard. Only, less tail and more soul. I spent years working up to this, and I really feel like I’ve put everything into these five songs. I’m also really going to… Read More »Testimonial
2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. Lately I’ve been crying a lot. Feeling feelings really hard. Often when I’m mired in my own emotions I will write a song, but I haven’t been able to complete a single new song the whole time we’ve been recording for the EP. So instead, I’m going to write a blog post about it. Let’s start with what I’m talking about… Read More »Feeling Feelings
2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. How do you remember, is it all in one goMemories on display like paintings, all in a rowI don’t know -me, “Can’t” Normal I spend a lot of time comparing my capabilities with those of other people. It typically ends with me wondering why I don’t seem to live up to the standards of “normal” I see around me. It’s discouraging,… Read More »Memory (no, not that Memory)
The Gift That Keeps on Giving Doesn’t Know When to Quit 2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. Recently we both registered with SOCAN1 in preparation for the release2 of the EP. It’s brought up a whole lot of feelings: excitement, anticipation, impatience, and pride, but also anxiety, insecurity, guilt, dread, and doubt. I thought I’d take some time to revisit the idea of imposter syndrome and unpack where some of these… Read More »Imposter Syndrome:
2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. I do not like to cancel plans; I find it extremely stressful. On the other hand, once something is cancelled, especially when someone else has to cancel our plans, it can feel like a relief. My default state is Not Doing Anything, and hauling myself out of that is almost always difficult, regardless of how much I actually do want to… Read More »Cancelled
2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. This is a blog post written in part nearly a year ago and in part just before posting. I went to edit it into something more appropriate to the present day, and I thought, no, I should leave what I wrote back then intact because it conveys a different flavour of hopelessness than what I feel now. I hope you enjoy,… Read More »On the Pandemic
2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. A couple of months ago I bought myself a visual timer. Visual timers are basically what they sound like. Once set, they give a visual cue as to how much time is left before they go off. And it is so much easier to get an idea of how time is passing when you’re using one. I love my visual timer. It’s pink,… Read More »Visual Timer
Those of you who know me – and let’s face it, I think that’s everyone reading this at this point – may be wondering, “Where are the EP updates? I thought you were making an EP. Aren’t you working on that right now? How is it going?” and similar. The answer is, I suppose, that it is going amazingly, fantastically well, it’s better than I’d even dreamed, I’m so excited about this project, and… I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m not overly… Read More »EP Update: Things Are Great, Let’s Move On?