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Songs I’ll Never Sing

Content Warning: some mention of death and dying I write a lot of songs, and plenty of them will never see the light of day because they’re just not very good. Promise not to procrastinate‘Cause I can’t waitTo be the one you can’t avoidYou’re making me feel paranoidYou’re out to get me, got me thinking ‘bout what happens nextFrom the time our eyes meet to all the restIt’s the best -yes, I wrote this, and I don’t want to talk about it But there is… Read More »Songs I’ll Never Sing

Upheaval

2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. They say (somebody said, at least) that “No plan survives contact with the enemy.” In fact, I think no plan survives contact with anything outside the brain of the person planning. Sometimes my plans are dashed to bits before they even leave the relative safety of my own mind. This is why, despite great plans laid carefully time and time again,… Read More »Upheaval

Shoot

Adam and I spent last Thursday afternoon and into the evening engaged in a photo shoot for Delicately Off-Balance.1 It was a lot of fun, we had a great time working with the makeup artist and the photographer,2 we ended the day dizzy with anticipation for the pictures, and even now, days later, we are exhausted. “My neck is stiff from staring at you.” -Adam The day after our shoot was our 11th wedding anniversary. We decided to celebrate by not doing anything terribly strenuous. I wanted to talk… Read More »Shoot

Music and Lyrics

A melody is like seeing someone for the first time… But then, as you get to know the person, that’s the lyrics. Their story. Who they are underneath. It’s the combination of the two that makes it magical. –Music and Lyrics If pressed, in the great debate of music vs. lyrics, I might say I fall on the lyrics side… by a hair. And only because words are maybe a bit easier for me to analyse and understand. Really, though, my opinion on the matter… Read More »Music and Lyrics

Change in the Weather

2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. It’s that time of year again, the time when the weather blows right past the temperatures that I actually find comfortable and enjoyable and on into summer heat. This year, the predicted highs of the week1 have me thinking about something different. I’d say maybe it’s because this was already on my mind, but to be honest, this preoccupies me quite a… Read More »Change in the Weather

Burden

2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. CW: brief discussion of suicidal ideation This week I want to talk about what it feels like to be a burden even when the people in your life try to tell you that you’re not, and why it’s actually okay to be a burden sometimes. I’m telling you ahead of time where I’m going with this because I don’t want anyone… Read More »Burden

Vocal Rest

2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. We’ve been sick for much of this month so far. And it’s the worst kind of sick, the kind that affects your voice. As of this writing, I haven’t been able to sing for more than a week. I rely heavily on singing to get me through my life. I sing in the shower, which is just about the only way… Read More »Vocal Rest

Shoulds and Shame

2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. In my experience,1 therapists hate “should” statements. I’ve been pondering the concept of shame lately, and how it is not very helpful. For the sake of a common definition, let shame be a negative emotion (or collection of emotions) that hits you when you realize you are doing or thinking or being something that you shouldn’t. It can be triggered from the outside, by cruel… Read More »Shoulds and Shame

Testimonial

Well, we’ve finished recording all five tracks for our EP, and I thought it was time for a bit of a recording retrospective. I feel incredibly proud but also kind of hollow, like I’ve put all of myself somewhere else and now have to figure out how to regenerate a new self. Like a lizard. Only, less tail and more soul. I spent years working up to this, and I really feel like I’ve put everything into these five songs. I’m also really going to… Read More »Testimonial

Feeling Feelings

2026 NOTE: My diagnostic situation has changed since I wrote this. See this post and the series of posts starting here for more information. Lately I’ve been crying a lot. Feeling feelings really hard. Often when I’m mired in my own emotions I will write a song, but I haven’t been able to complete a single new song the whole time we’ve been recording for the EP. So instead, I’m going to write a blog post about it. Let’s start with what I’m talking about… Read More »Feeling Feelings