Leading up to the show, I had so many things on my mind – more than once I drew the comparison between organizing the show and planning a wedding, and I don’t think I was exaggerating as much as it might have sounded like I was exaggerating. My poor brain was packed full of details, most especially because this was our first time doing anything like this.
Well, it’s over, and although at first there was some weird stress surrounding the idea that we had done things wrong and might at any second be called out, some disappointment in the things that didn’t go to plan, and some wistfulness about what we could have done differently if only we’d already know what we learned that night, with a little temporal breathing space we’ve been feeling pretty good about things. And I’ve been feeling pretty good all over. Because without all those things on my mind, my mind is shaking itself off and regaining its composure.
After Hallowe’en, we started listening, just a bit, to Christmas music (I have a playlist of Christmas songs that we actually like, we generally avoid the radio) and it feels magical. The snow has started, and I don’t hate it yet. I feel refreshed.1
And something wonderful has happened. My creativity is sparking again. Or at least, I have the brainspace and the time to listen to it again.
Since October 22nd we’ve got three new songs in the works, an old song revamped and sounding SO GOOD, and we’re talking seriously about what details are still missing that might prevent us from doing our own recording, with a view to closing those gaps sooner rather than later. We think we’ve settled on the two songs we want to record next, and we’re just trying to pin down the best way of getting that done. It may involve building A Thing, so stay tuned for more on that.
I’ve also decided to get back into sewing. I always liked doing it when I was younger but lacked some of the necessary patience, and I feel like, at 38, I’ve probably collected a bit more of that. I’m very much looking forward to making things again. To ease my way back into it, I’ve bookmarked a bunch of simple projects that would actually be useful, so I can practice on pieces that won’t be wasted.
In short, thoughts are pinging around in my brain and it’s a refreshing change of pace from the lockdown my grey matter was experiencing not too long ago. My thoughts were held rigidly in place as I tried desperately not to forget any of the things I didn’t dare let go of leading up to the show. Now they’re more like a dog with the zoomies.2 That said, I don’t feel out of control as I sometimes did in ages long past. I just feel… ready to create.
I also feel… ready to look for new employment. I suspect most of the people reading this know that my role was eliminated this summer, and I had the luxury of deciding not to look for something new immediately. Well, it’s time, so expect to hear more soon about the search for an occupation that is compatible with my brain. Since I have room for that kind of thing now.
And of course, all this space is freed up just in time to fill the gaps with the 12 Thoughts of Christmas: Christmas music, Christmas movies, Christmas tree decorating, Christmas cookie decorating, Christmas wish list writing, Christmas gifting ideas, Christmas gifting logistics, Christmas wrapping technique, Christmas stocking stuffing, Christmas sweaters, Christmas cards (and letters) and… Christmas weather.
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1 Or at least I would if I could get enough sleep. But in comparison to how I DID feel? Ahhhhhh.
2 IYKYK