WHOLEHEARTED – give it all every time I give at all
WHOLEHEARTED – wait and see just how easily I fall
WHOLEHEARTED – make it clear if you’re never gonna call
‘Cause I can’t
Pretend that
I’m not me – WHOLEHEARTEDLY
Welcome to the behind-the-song coverage of our first single! Check out the song on the front page of our website or our YouTube channel (the song is also available on major streaming services) and then, if you feel so inclined, come back here and find out what it all means.
I always go too far too fast
Tell you I love you ‘fore you even know my name
Plenty of examples in my past
Never occurs to me you might not feel the same
I have a long history of feeling deeply connected to people after a very short period of actually knowing them. It has, on occasion, made people uncomfortable, because, obviously, most people require some time to get to know somebody before deciding they want to be next-to-family. I’ve also often felt that I do end up knowing who people are, quite literally before they even know my name.
The walls come down
Before you’ve had a chance to breathe
I blurt. I cling. I say things I probably shouldn’t say to someone I haven’t already been friends with for years. And it happens in a metaphorical heartbeat.
WHOLEHEARTED – give it all every time I give at all
WHOLEHEARTED – wait and see just how easily I fall
WHOLEHEARTED – make it clear if you’re never gonna call
‘Cause I can’t
Pretend that
I’m not me – WHOLEHEARTEDLY
When I realize I want to be friends with someone, it’s more than a little like falling in love. It’s led me to be hurt deeply on more than one occasion when the feelings of friendship are not reciprocated, or at least not to the same degree. It’s not something I can change. And at some point I had to stop pretending that I am someone else.
I always give too much too soon
Expect that you’ll be there until we reach the end
You’re surprised your words wound
I’m always hoping that I’ve found my new best friend
I don’t have a great grasp on the ebb and flow of friendships. (One of many things about friendship theory that I struggle with.) Despite knowing that they can start out with a thrilling intensity and then fade or even disappear, it can come as a shock when it actually happens.
The walls come down
Before you’ve had a chance to breathe
I’m prone to being myself, fully and with little regard for the comfort or understanding of others, with only a little encouragement. “Comfort” and “understanding” are the response from some people, but not everyone. Not by a long shot.
I’m the kind of person who
Can’t be bothered to
Protect my heart
Are you the kind of person who
Can’t be bothered either
I wrote this in a sudden flash of self-realization and attendant bitterness. I’ve been hurt, and logically, I should find it very difficult to open myself to that kind of thing again. And yet, I just can’t seem to be bothered to protect myself. And I wonder sometimes whether or not the people I find myself trusting would try to protect me if they realized that I was going to need it.
If this person needs you to
Care ‘bout how the things you do
Affect me too, ooh,
D’ya think I could rely on you
This is something I’ve wondered many times, and never had the courage to ask any of the people who’ve been party to my WHOLEHEARTED propensities over the years. Some of them I would tentatively call friends, although I’m never confident in applying the term, some of them I would probably call acquaintances, and some of them have slipped out of my life altogether. If I could have found a way to demand this, would it have made a difference? But then, I would have to be a very different person to find a way to demand this.
The walls come down
Before you’ve had a chance to breatheWHOLEHEARTED – give it all every time I give at all
WHOLEHEARTED – wait and see just how easily I fall
This is the “defeated” section of the song. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel disappointed in myself for being, well, myself.
WHOLEHEARTED – make it clear if you’re never gonna call
BUT, I have realized, there is perhaps more wrong with a world where it’s widely considered more acceptable to be Facebook friends with people you don’t even know than to develop actual relationships with other humans than there is with being myself. Even if myself is awkward, too honest, too earnest, and prone to falling into a state of what I call “friend crush” at the drop of a hat.
‘Cause I can’t
Pretend that
I’m not me – WHOLEHEARTEDLY
WHOLEHEARTEDLY
WHOLEHEARTEDLY
This song ends the way it does because the important thing is that every person who has ever held a piece of my heart in this too-fast, too-soon way still does, and I’m not ashamed of that.